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The Body You Bring to Bed
The Body You Bring to Bed by Rebecca Hiraoka. If you want to work with Rebecca, check out her services here How Body Image Shapes Pleasure, How Therapy Can Help Pleasure asks us to be in our bodies, but that can feel challenging. While having sex have you ever felt yourself leave the experience, enter your mind, and begin to wonder how your body is being perceived, tuning into the parts of your body that you do not like and feel fairly certain others are judging? Our Body Ima
Coty Nolin
Aug 242 min read


You and your partner have different levels of sexual desire? Here is why I am not shocked.
What was the first time you saw sex depicted in a long term relationship? Was it in a movie? A TV show? Was it between your parents, or grandparents? Its likely somewhere along the way, you picked up a message that sex should be natural. A narrative that, “sex is simple if you are in the right relationship”. And so, maybe you adopted beliefs around sex that it should be “easy”. This is a common narrative about sex that can be harmful for several reasons. When desire discrepan
Coty Nolin
Aug 242 min read


What is the "urge to merge"? How can it affect your sex life?
Have you ever felt like you and your partner shared the same brain? Have you ever felt like you could predict what your partner is going to say, how they will feel in certain situations, or even what they are thinking? Do you feel like you take on your partner’s emotions? (for example, if they are in a bad mood, you are in a bad mood.) And most importantly, do you ever feel like you lose your sense of self (your awareness of your own emotions, desires, wants) because you are
Coty Nolin
Aug 242 min read


Unlocking Intimacy: How Internal Family Systems Can Transform Your Sex Life
Intimacy and sexuality often involve more than just physical connection. Emotional barriers, past experiences, and inner conflicts can quietly shape how we relate to ourselves and our partners in intimate moments. Internal Family Systems (IFS), a therapeutic approach that explores the different parts within us, and can help us gain more awareness for the underlying working of our minds and bodies in the bedroom. What Is Internal Family Systems? Internal Family Systems is a mo
Coty Nolin
Jun 302 min read


Does sex feel like a chore? Heres how sex and relationship therapy can help.
Does sex ever feel like a chore or something you have to check off your to do list? This is the most common concern I hear from folks...
Coty Nolin
Aug 29, 20252 min read


Do you feel "stuck in your head" during sex? Here is how sex therapy can help.
Do you ever feel like when you are having sex you are stuck in "thinking" but not really "feeling"? Do you feel like you have trouble...
Coty Nolin
Aug 15, 20251 min read


Couples Therapy Insights: What Are My Triggers?
Couples therapy questions: What are my triggers? The word “triggered” is fairly mainstream these days. A “trigger” is a perceived threat...
Coty Nolin
Jul 10, 20242 min read


Happy Pride! Here are 5 ways to meet LGBTQ+ folks
Happy Pride! Here are 5 ways to meet LGBTQ+ folks Many of my clients who are exploring identity or “coming out” are looking for...
Coty Nolin
Jun 11, 20243 min read


Couples Therapy Insights: Why Couples Struggle with Defensiveness
What is “defensiveness”? Defensiveness means “excessive concern with guarding against the real or imagined threat of criticism, injury to...
Coty Nolin
May 29, 20242 min read


Sexual Desire and The Mind Body Connection
I have found in my training and practice as a sex and relationships therapist, that many people can experience a change in their sexual...
Coty Nolin
Dec 26, 20234 min read
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